


The Choices We Make

by psychotraumatic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, beagle line friendship, wedding singer au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-06-15 02:32:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15403026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotraumatic/pseuds/psychotraumatic
Summary: It's him. It will always be him. There's no other choice for him to take.





	The Choices We Make

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kunehonim](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunehonim/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Jessi! Hope you like my entry to JessiFest 2018. ^^

_Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out._

He repeats the mantra to himself, in his head and out loud. He does so until he feels calm enough to face the world outside the confines of his car. He’s not ready, he doesn’t think he ever will, but the time on his watch says he’s running out of time. So he takes one last deep breath, braces himself, and steps out.

He follows others to the entrance of the hall, trying to make himself as small as possible, hoping to pass without anyone seeing him until they absolutely have to. He isn’t successful, of course, not when some of his best friends are doing their jobs greeting guests as they make their way in.

One in particular sees him before the others, and he’s not sure whether it’s for the best or the worst. He freezes in his spot as the tall man steps forward, effectively blocking the others from his view and subsequently shielding him from anyone else's line of sight. He lets out a sigh of relief thinking that the other gave him a favor right then.

“You have to be the biggest moron I’ve ever seen,” Chanyeol mutters under his breath, throwing an arm over his shoulders and leading him to the side. “I can’t believe you accepted.”

“Call it closure,” he mumbles with a shrug, bowing his head as the other sighs at his response.

“Let’s grab a drink after this, huh?” Chanyeol offers.

Kyungsoo looks up at hearing his resignation, noting the sad smile on his friend’s face. “Sorry if I’m causing you to worry.”

Chanyeol shakes his head, his smile turning into a reassuring one. “We’re all friends here. We have to take care of one another.”

“He also means that friends are not supposed to keep secrets from each other,” someone interjects.

They twist their heads to see two others, both with arms crossed over their chests and pouts on their faces.

“You two aren’t supposed to hide the fact that Kyungsoo is here from us!”

“Sorry, Baekhyun,” they chime.

“Come here.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes water when Jongdae opens his arms, a wordless signal for him to get a hug. He doesn’t hesitate to walk into the other’s chest, revelling in the warmth of his embrace. “Thank you,” he mumbles.

“We’re here for you as much as we are for them,” Jongdae whispers against his ear. “Don’t forget that.”

As much as Kyungsoo wants to prolong that moment, the voice of an usher pulls them back to reality, announcing that the ceremony was starting in a few minutes. He pulls away from Jongdae only to feel fingers threading through his own. The other gives him a gentle smile. “We can do this.”

Baekhyun takes his other hand, wrapping himself around his arm, giving Kyungsoo a surge of comfort. “Just squeeze Jongdae’s hand as hard as you can if you think you can’t take it.”

“Why am I the only one you’re subjecting through the pain?” Jongdae whines.

“Hush, little people,” Chanyeol says dramatically. “We can’t be late.”

“Sure,” Baekhyun drawls. “Take advantage while you can. But once Kyungsoo has enough energy, you can be sure to suffer. Sleep with one eye open, you giant.”

Sitting beside his friends makes him forget where he is for a little while, all thanks to their snide comments here and there. But it wasn’t long before he’s reminded why he _is_ here, not when he himself feels the awe after seeing how beautiful the bride looks.

Kyungsoo lets his head float up to the clouds, seeing and hearing but not quite understanding what was going on. The next thing he knows, he’s up on stage, staring at the love of his life and his soon-to-be wife. He hears the emcee give him the cue to start, nodding his head once for the musicians to play the song he had once imagined would act as his own vows.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes as he opens his mouth, letting his notes speak every emotion he couldn’t. He doesn’t dare look at the bride and groom, doesn’t dare let anyone see the amount of pain in his gaze.

 _The storms may come_  
_And winds may blow_  
_I'll be your shelter for life_  
_This love, this love_  
_I mean it till the day I die_

 _Oh, never gonna let you go_  
_Giving you my heart and soul_  
_I'll be right here with you for life_  
_Oh, baby all I wanna do_  
_Is spend my every second with you_  
_So look in my eyes_  
_I'll be by your side_

 _Yeah, look in my eyes_  
_I'll be by your side_  
_For life_

When he opens his eyes again, it’s to see the couple fighting tears. The bride, the only one he has the strength to really look at, flashes a watery grin in thanks. Kyungsoo offers a small smile in congratulations before stepping back down and walking away. He lets the thunderous applause of the audience drown the sound of his beating heart. He can feel the stares on him as he keeps his pace, knowing that his friends are throwing worried glances his way. He meets Chanyeol’s eyes, the sadness in them mirroring his own.

“I’m okay,” he mouths, tilting his head towards the door. “I’ll see you later.”

Kyungsoo makes a dash for his car the second he steps out of the wedding hall. With trembling hands, it takes him three times before he can fit the key into the ignition. He puts his foot on the pedal and guns it, tires screeching as he makes his escape. It’s nothing short of a wonder how he makes it home in one piece.

The second the door clicks shut behind him is the exact moment he falls apart, tears spilling from his eyes, sobs wracking through his chest. He can barely hold himself up, leaning against the wall and sliding down until his body hits the floor.

 _It’s done. It’s over. He’s no longer yours._ The words swim in his head, mocking him for his stupidity. Kyungsoo knew it was going to be this way, but he still opted to hand over his heart to someone who had no intention to choose him.

Perhaps Chanyeol was right in saying he was a moron for even being there, even more so for gifting the couple with a song. Maybe he was an idiot for thinking that being there would be the closure he needed. All Kyungsoo gets is the feeling of his heart breaking into a million pieces over and over again.

Kyungsoo cries his heart out until it seems impossible for there to be any tears left. He gets up off the floor and makes his way to his bedroom, wanting nothing more than to crawl into bed and hope the rest of the world disappears.

He doesn’t make it that far, frantic knocks on the door making him stop in his tracks. He furrows his brows in thought. The wedding should have been finished by now. His friends may have only stayed long enough to express congratulations to the married couple and give respects to the elders. Kyungsoo thinks it’s them at the door, putting all his money on Baekhyun being the one knocking a hole through it. 

It’s with that thought that he doesn’t make the effort to wipe his face clean. They’ll see through his façade either way.

The problem is that the person in front of his door isn’t who he expects it to be. 

“Sehun!”

“You couldn’t have waited a minute before making a getaway? Do you know how much heckling I got from Jongdae before he gave me his car keys?”

Kyungsoo takes in ragged breaths, eyes flitting all over the place – to the man in front of him, to the second car in his driveway, to empty spaces in his search for reasons.

“What are you doing here?” he asks, voice trembling in disbelief.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.”

“What’s that?”

“Choose you.”

Kyungsoo staggers back, eyes wide as he locks gazes with Sehun. He looks for any hint of a joke, that the other is just here to rub his marriage in his face, that he’s there so he can drag Kyungsoo back to the wedding hall and remind him of what he can’t have. But Sehun’s eyes are filled with nothing but sincerity and apology.

“Fuck my parents,” Sehun says vehemently. “Fuck her and her parents.”

“Language!”

Sehun lets out an incredulous laugh. “I’m here telling you I just ditched my bride, my wedding, and my family. And the one thing that gets a rise out of you is my cursing?”

Kyungsoo clamps his mouth shut, not having any retort as he realizes how ridiculous he was being. “I’ve had a long few days, okay?” he says weakly.

Sehun’s expression softens as he looks straight into his eyes. Kyungsoo finds himself in a trance, drowning in the deep pools of the other’s gaze. He feels himself being pushed back, hears a door close and a lock click, walks to wherever Sehun guides him.

When clarity comes to him, Kyungsoo realizes they’re in his bedroom. Sehun peels back his layers, leaving him to stand in just his boxer briefs. He watches intently as the other repeats the motions on himself, eyes tracing every angle and plane being revealed.

He looks on as Sehun pulls the blanket back, slipping under as if it were his own bed. He turns the other side down, patting the mattress as his invitation to follow suit. Kyungsoo crawls into the space, facing the wall as he tries to get his bearings straight. He stiffens when he feels an arm go over his stomach, pulling his body tight against a warm chest.

"I know there's a lot to talk about," Sehun whispers against his nape, lips seemingly leaving open-mouthed kisses as he speaks. "But we'll face it tomorrow, and all the days it will take for me to assure you that I'm here, that I'm with you, that I'm never leaving. I'm sorry. I love you."

Those last three words were all Kyungsoo needs for closure. 


End file.
